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On a more serious note: A spoon. Hold the cup of the spoon with your thumb, pressing it with your index finger. Now it’s a blunt weapon, unless you sharpen your spoons.
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haha my dad always referred to silverware as “fightin’ gear”
Carry a gun with you. If someone tries to rob you, grab your chest and say “Call an ambulance!” Then pull out your gun and say “but not for me!”
