Image transcription:
Computer science terms that sound like fantasy RPG abilities
I’ll start:
- Firewall
- Virtual Memory
- Single source of truth
- Lossless Compression (this one sounds really powerful for some reason)
Your turn
Hard mode: Try not to include closer to domain-specific things like javascript library names
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World wide web would be an OP spell
A crack forms below you… and suddenly a tunnel collapses inward beneath your feet.
After a short while your fall is arrested. You are now snagged in a web, in the dim light lit from where you fell you can see this web goes on, all around you, seemingly forever.
Scroll lock. To protect your scrolls.
Think that’s that wizards get when they’re having trouble studying.
Happy cake day!
Huh, no shit! It’s been a year already.
I think that means I’m getting old.
There’s an infamous tech support tale dating back to the Windows 95 days of a very religious lady who wanted all of the wizards removed from her computer. Similar for an individual who absolutely did not want any mice around their computer
Or prevent an opposing caster from using one or more scrolls
Polymorphism
The orc becomes a pile of gelatin, quivering, you now must choose what it will become.
Roll for…
… seduction
You roll a 1.
This causes an unauthorized access exception and a giant bouncer rapidly approaches, screaming in fury.
I love your username
Encapsulation kinda sounds like it could be a spell too. That’s 2/3 pillars of OOP.
The last one was atomization, right? Gets a bit out of fantasy, but can definitely sound magical
I cast atomization on the giant. (9th level warlock spell)
On a failed save the targets head evaporates killing them outright.
On a success roll a d4 (or higher for higher number of limbs) and the limb clockwise from the head evaporates. Dealing either 25% or 150HP which ever is higher damage.
Hyperconvergence or hypervisor.
- Multithread
- Checksum Mismatch
- Raise Exception
- Zombie Process
- Parallelization
- Segmentation Fault
- Force Commit
- Signal Abort
- Signal Kill
- Balance Nodes
- Stack Overflow
- Core Dump
- Reverse Tunnel
- Dynamic Forwarding
I don’t know what kind of spells these would be but I fear the wizard who knows them.
Ping of death
Bash
Vim (clearly a buff)
Vim (clearly a buff)
That’s some grand wizard who’s made some named spells. Vim’s Inescapable Hut being the most known one.
The instructions are helpfully printed on the scroll.
Trapped wizard: “… how the fuck do I pronounce
:q!?”
Artificers use assembly language to cast their spells.
1st level wild shape ability byte.
4th level wild shape ability megabyte.
8th level wild shape ability gigabyte.
9th level wild shape ability terabyteBonus 0th level ability: nibble
- Big endian (a very powerful NPC)
- Hardware abstraction (a spell that makes all the stuff disappears)
- Obfuscation (invisibility spell)
- Multiplexing (ability to cast several spells as one)
- Dangling reference (when wrong information is given by somebody)
- Curiously Recurring Template Pattern (basically crop circles)
- Pure virtual method (anything somebody learned but will never use)
- Diamond inheritance (when someone in the party dies and all of their money is spread accross the others)
Can you tell what’s my job?
I target you and cast polymorphism.
Power word (sudo) Kill!
Embedded systems?
We have a winner!
Curiously Recurring Template Pattern (basically crop circles)
They’re also as mysterious as crop circles in programming. I know how it works but I’m not going to explain to the next poor sap. Such an antipattern. It’s in the name, don’t do this sort of shit. Stop being clever. Your code should be dumb as fuck
DevOps or Sys Admin?
Default Gateway
Split Horizon
Routing Overhead
Broadcast Storm
edit:fkn markdown
Split Horizon sounds really high-level.
Split Horizon with Poison Reverse
Not necessarily PC related, but:
Uninterrupted Power Supply
I think a trap in a procedurally generated dungeon I recently ran for my group. It was a magical lightning trap, self resetting
UPS ≈ permanence
Looks exactly like the cursed item - Unreliable Power Source!
Halt and Catch Fire
This does not have enough up votes.
PowerShell
Get-Date
Read-Host
Remove-Alias
Remove-Event
Sort-Object
Remove Event: 5th level spell, cast as a reaction. Instantly negates the previous action. Spell DC wisdom check.
Memory leak
Destructor
Dynamic dispatch
Execute
Rust - rusts metal. When miscast, makes the target a crab of some sort
Go - Same as “command” spell
Regular Expression - makes any cryptic message understandable in a language you know
Transfer Protocol - allows the teleportation of one packet to a willing host
Read Only - cast on a book, scroll or any other thing with written words. Ensures no further words can be written. No scribbles or any sort of artwork will stick either. The object can still be destroyed
Icon - For a short period, the target of the spell becomes a beloved, or hated, icon of a subject. IE: beloved icon of beauty, hated icon of music.
Master Boot Record - this magical list contains all the master level boots ever created and their current whereabouts
Partition Table - allows any object with at least 2 flat sides to be cut into any shape
I love that Master Boot Record, implies that at some point a group of Artificer-Cobblers created the “Master Boots”; a set of legendary items so powerful that a magical record was also created to track their whereabouts, lest they fall into the wrong hands.
- Higher order function
- Rijndael cypher
- Serpent cypher
