Worst thing about someone watching a reel out loud is you hear the same 15 second sound bite 30 times while they’re reading the comments.
or 5-second disconnected bits while they scroll
Oh no oh no oh nononono
That’s my wife, then after like 2 minutes she tells me to watch it.
I JUST HEARD IT 23 TIMES!
I think one of the platforms used to pause at some point reading comments if you fullscreened them, then changed it so it would play unless manually paused first. YouTube Shorts?
Hearing the same 15 second soundbite 30 times… tremendous for engagement!
You phone shouldn’t make any sound whatsoever when you’re in public period.
The worst part is that it’s just normalized enough that you can’t really call it out.
It’s normalized because it’s not a serious problem, it’s a minor, and extremely temporary annoyance the vast majority of the time.
It’s incredibly obnoxious and there’s never a good reason for it.
Headphones are dirt cheap. Use them in public. No one has ever wanted to hear your bullshit.
Clearly you’ve never spent an hour+ on a bus with someone watching TikTok on a fucking Bluetooth speaker.
that has not stopped me from calling it out. in my experience, most people seem to be unaware that it bothers other people (or at least they claim to be unaware).
that said, a decent number of them are unwilling to change their behavior after being told that it does bother people.
It can ring and give notifications, as long as they aren’t set to something obnoxious.
It becomes obnoxious no matter what it is when they’re having a text conversation with someone and it’s going off constantly
For me, if I’m actually having a conversation in public, I’ll silence my phone.
Right, but they were suggesting it should be silenced at all times, by default, even for the very first notification.
Put your phone on vibrate, you’ll survive.
No, I don’t think I will.
In the before time, the long long ago, people didn’t have a portable social media machine
That’s what my phone is set at 24/7, the only time it makes a noise from the speakers is when the alarm goes off in the morning.
I have my phone set so it sets itself to vibrate when it disconnects from my home WiFi. It turns the notification sounds back up when it reconnects. I’ve never had to worry about it again.
That’s the way
I’m pretty old but do you know the Woody Woodpecker laugh? I used to work with a girl back before smartphones that had that as her text notification. It was the whole thing which takes like five seconds so sometimes it was just that fucking sound almost non-stop. Here it is, cursed fucking creation.
I can’t imagine the ptsd you have
That sounds like something they would do to prisoners in Guantanamo.
It’s kind of amazing that I haven’t really thought about Woody Woodpecker since watching the cartoons as a kid and the animation doesn’t look familiar at all other than yeah that’s the right colors, but I could hear the laugh in my head immediately on seeing the name, without having to play the audio.
i couldn’t even make it through the 8 second video. i cant begin to imagine what you must have gone through. my heart goes out to you
Well they should silence it at that point because obviously they’re paying enough attention to it and expecting responses, so they should be waiting for the vibrate if not looking at it directly.
But people don’t need to have their phone silenced at all times while in public, they just need to be attentive enough to answer and silence it. I frequently don’t even feel the vibration.
Unprompted, I will tell you the most obnoxious ring tone I have ever heard. It was on the subway and a voice was suddenly loudly proclaiming: “Warning! Warning! The owner of this phone is a self-confessed binge drinker” until some douchebag picked up the call.
That is daft, but it does tickle me when someone’s ringtone is set to that “warning! It’s the wife!” one.
It’s probably obnoxious in real life but I really wanna do the ZZ Top ringtone from Bad Monkey
If someone told me to silence my phone in public they would get laughed at. And if you persist I’ll tell you to call the cops, who will then proceed to laugh at you.
Theatres, yeah, they shouldn’t even vibrate.
Edit: you’re prefences are noted and ignored. People have been loud in public since there has been public. Get over yourselves.
Call the cops?
Yea you’re obviously a child. I mean literally based on that response.
How am I a child? Dude makes up a rule and I’m supposed to follow it? Really?
It’s not a law, and telling someone to call the cops os pointing out the absurdity of the demand.
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Wilco, you won’t be the first, and you won’t be the last. Even of it’s some sort of kink.
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Oh, you think this is some sort of threat? Please threaten me…
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You’re the one pushing it.
Presumably, for such a complaint, the cops wouldn’t even bother to come to laugh at you unless they were very very bored. This is probably true in both circumstances you described. Also, I can’t speak for others, but unless detained I wouldn’t stick around most public locations long enough for someone to complain about a notification from my phone. Even if a call is received and must be answered, it seems appropriate to accept the call and leave the immediate shared area if possible. Obviously, in such circumstances as a moving bus, quickly leaving isn’t really feasible.
However, I partially agree with the person to whom you responded. Your phone shouldn’t make any media based sound (videos, music) in public. I also mostly agree with what I think you’re saying: in most circumstances, notification sounds are inoffensive. Movies are not the only exception to this but definitely are one. Laughing in the face of someone who requests quiet in a public shared area seems rude, though, and might escalate the situation.
To elaborate, recently I went to see a dental surgeon. As I approached the waiting area, my immediate thought was to set my phone to vibrate. Once I entered, however, I realized that not only was there a TV in the space; also there was an elderly couple watching TV on their phones. Not only were they doing so, not only were they watching something different from what was on the TV, not only were they watching their media at BLARING volume, but they were also watching vastly different content. In this circumstance, notifications could be - reluctantly - forgiven, but their blasting and conflicting media made it very difficult to concentrate on filling out my paperwork.
I’m too much of a wimp to have approached them, but in that circumstance I think it would have been appropriate to ask them to silence their media and would have only required a vague awareness of the existence of others for them to have done so without prompting.
Though the cops, if they came, would likely still have just laughed.
An aside: as soon as the presumed wife left the waiting area, the likely husband shut off his media. I don’t know what that means, but wanted to mention it.
No u.
I wouldn’t call the cops. I’d just fling it into the ocean. Who would call the cops for you then? You can’t. You have no phone.
See? We all make decisions every second to be or not to be jerks. You’re not special.
Ah, so you’ll commit assault because my phone isn’t on silent. Buds you need a reality check.
You’re assaulting others airspace and committing harassment. that isn’t your right but then suddenly everything is a crime when someone else does something to you. Pick a conviction. Narcissism isn’t an excuse.
My phone making notification sounds isn’t assault, not even close. Taking my phone is theft.
Pick a lane.
You’re convincing no one that you’re that important enough to get a notification. Sad face.
You’re convincing yourself that you’re important enough to dictate others actions.
Pitiful.
It interferes with public emergency announcements so there should be some clear enough airspace for it.
What if, what if, what if. The world is noisy.
That’s just an excuse to be an asshole. Not to consider. This is how sociopaths reason.
Go up to everyone whose phone you hear and tell them to put it on silent.
Expecting people to be silent in public is asinine.
Expecting everyone to cowtowing to your wants only in a public space that’s for everyone is asinine and narcissistic
And expecting others to be quiet for you isn’t?
Done talking to you.
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100%. Public areas need enough clear airspace for emergency announcements as it puts everyone in danger.
Nobody should even speak in public! Or breathe my air!
A narcissistic sociopath is someone who exhibits traits of both narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). They may have an exaggerated sense of self-importance, a lack of regard for others, and a tendency to manipulate others to get what they want
They might be a literal child, as implied by their name.
I was making fun of this entire concept. If talking in public is allowed, it implies that everyone is comfortable with a person emitting a certain amount of noise. What form that noise takes is idiotic to divvy up and bitch about.
Explain to me how if you’re annoyed by music playing, why is that any more valid than someone else being mad at talking? Or someone else for whistling? Singing? Phone ringing? Vibrating? Where are your arbitrary lines?
You can’t be serious. Or you don’t spend a lot of time in public.
Most people’s conversations in public are fairly quiet. People often do get annoyed of people are having a screaming or otherwise disruptive conversation on the subway. Most humans don’t find a quiet conversation that distracting though. Hearing half a conversation annoys most people- I think it’s because the brain keeps trying to figure out what’s happening.
It’s not really “”“arbitrary lines”“”. The shared theme is “don’t distract other people in public”. Whistling fails this check. So does singing. As does a phone alarm going off. But also like most things that annoy or tolerate are arbitrary.
This is especially true if you need to hear announcements like what stop this is or that this train is going express.
Anyway, my current thinking is you’re doing some sort of “bit” as a selfish child, or you just don’t spend a lot of time in public.
So you would like legislation passed to outlaw street performers? If I’m a child for asking these questions, what does that make you, an angry old man yelling at kids? Maybe I’m just not as bothered by people living there lives as you are. I expect noise in public.
Street performers aren’t the same as people watching videos on their phone.
I automatically hate you very much if you do this
Obnoxious dickheads gonna be obnoxious
People need to get called out for this more.
I was thinking “I bet back in the day people would have called people out on their shit. That’s why standards were higher”. So I called some guy out on it and he was like “sorry sorry sorry. Okay” and he put his hands up.
Look cunt you obviously seem to know it’s not right if you acting like that so why you being a knobhead? Just because no one will call you out?
Edit:corrected my own shite grammar
Depends.
If the guy said sorry like in your story he obviously Canadian.
You do that in Australia you either get punched or a chicken shit who has his ego so far up his anxiety he makes an effort to talk back, fails and jumps out on the next train stop afraid you’re gonna punch his gizzards. (But hey it was effective non the less)
If it’s in America you just created another school shooting what with traumatizing a student by asking him to turn down his device and now the world must pay.
You got what you wanted and you’re angry about it. YOU are the problem.
I can only imagine what a dick you probably are all the time. Even by your own telling in this story you sound like you were probably rude or even threatening to a stranger because they made you so mildly uncomfortable.
Not even really because you were uncomfortable, but because you are roiling mad about cell phone etiquette having declined since “back in the day”. Whatever that means.
You got what you wanted and you’re angry about it
Bend what they said more, let’s see if it breaks! They got mad at the way the person responded revealing they knew they were doing a dick, it’s quite simple
I can only imagine what a dick you probably are all the time
Judging from your comment I’m going with: because projection
No. The person responded by trying to diffuse things:
he was like “sorry sorry sorry. Okay” and he put his hands up.
That doesn’t convey any sense of guilt, it conveys that he was trying to avoid a fight. he put his hands up. That’s how you show someone, “look, I’m not a threat, I’m not going to hurt you. you win.” It’s a strategic decision, not an admission of culpability.
He backed down and surrendered in the situation because it wasn’t worth getting into a confrontation about it. Unlike the commenter, he was able to keep this interaction in perspective.
And it’s this part that makes me think wanderer was probably threatening and rude. If wanderer made a normal, calm, polite comment/request, this is an unlikely reaction. It is likely occurring because the person on the phone thought they were in some danger.
I said “can’t you put some headphones in?” And put my hands up gestured in like “what the fuck are you doing”?
I’m not going to start a fight with a guy sitting directly behind me. That’s strategically stupid. I didn’t even stand up.
Technically I guess he put one hand up because his other was holding the phone. Which is a very, very common gesture of guilt. I literally watched a game today and one of the players made that gesture to his own teammates when he made a mistake. I doubt he was expected to get punched by them either.
And put my hands up gestured in like “what the fuck are you doing”?
Where I live we don’t have a hand gesture for that. I am curious what it entails?
So this guy was sitting there watching a video or whatever, probably not attending to his surroundings, when out of nowhere some other person is suddenly right in front of his face confronting him, waving his hands around. Since your description of the hand gesture is “what the fuck”— a pretty hostile thing to communicate to a stranger by any method— wouldn’t you say there is a possibility that it was interpreted as menacing?
Even if you do know better than to start a fight on public transit, this guy doesn’t know you. People start fights for less. He’s not reading your mind, to know you are thinking like sun tzu, and would therefor not attack from a position of weakness like the seat in front. People get stabbed on busses and trains for minor insults. Don’t you think he could have just been cautious?
Or conversely, he knew himself to be potentially violent. Maybe he was trying to hold himself back from starting a fight and thought backing down was just the best strategy to exit the situation. I’ve known people who have control to a point and they sometimes do weird things to keep themselves from that point.
I literally watched a game today and one of the players made that gesture to his own teammates when he made a mistake. I doubt he was expected to get punched by them either.
Ah. I see.
So did the team mate then respond in a manner such as
Look cunt you obviously seem to know it’s not right if you acting like that so why you being a knobhead? Just because no one will call you out?
And then carry such a grudge as to later recount it and their dissatisfaction with the person even having made the error? Or the team mates acknowledged it and everyone moved on? Even if there was more teasing afterwards, you have to understand the context is that everyone who was playing a video game made a choice to do that with each other specifically, whereas this guy did not make a choice to be in a confrontation with you. You were just happening at him. And by your telling of the story, you were so mad thinking about “the old days” BS by the time you said something there basically was nothing he could have done to make you feel better. Don’t you think there is a possibility your body language was communicating more than you are even able to describe here? Even exactly as described it sounds menacing. But don’t you think he could have somehow gotten the feeling that you were mad at him as an avatar for all the problems and degeneration of the modern times?
You were a stranger of unknown intention and capacities. This man likely wanted you to leave him alone and go away. Even if you are correct and he did feel shame at being noticed for his rudeness, felt bad for interrupting your thoughts, and intended to concede to you a moral victory, he was probably also aware at the potential threat. Which, in a video game, is a non issue. That’s one of the things about video games: they are fake.
I don’t think it’s wrong to make requests of people around you. You wanna ask people to be quiet, that’s fine. But you need to learn how to do it in a peaceable way. Think of it as modeling the behavior you want to see. You want others to be quiet, unobtrusive and considerate, then you should be quiet, unobtrusive and considerate. You can still assert your needs and desires. Sometimes you will be accommodated and other times you won’t be. If, as you say, the guy was completely apologetic because he knew what he had done was wrong, then you could have been really pleasant about it, no “wtf” hand gestures, and you would still have gotten what you wanted. You could have even said “thank you, I appreciate your consideration” and smiled and been happy about it. Would have been a totally different story to tell here in the thread. All under your control.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
You are talking like some stereotypically white knight that knows how the world works and how everyone thinks and fantasies about how things should be. Yet for all this worldly knowledge that no one ever else could possibly comprehend the world doesn’t work out for you.
Some guy was being a dick on public transport, seemingly knowingly, I call him out for that and he stopped. All good.
Love how you can know so much about a situation that you didn’t even see. That’s a real good magic trick. Maybe you should be a detective?
Where I live we don’t have a hand gesture for that. I am curious what it entails?
You put your hand up like a high 5. It is generally seen as a “I fucked up, I know, sorry” it’s pretty common it a lot of cultures. Weird you don’t know this yet you know so so much above everything else
“what the fuck”— a pretty hostile thing to communicate to a stranger by any method— wouldn’t you say there is a possibility that it was interpreted as menacing?
How is wtf hostile? Like if you seen a duck carrying a cat across the road and some guy made a wtf gesture at you, you’re going to reach for you gun?
Even if you do know better than to start a fight on public transit, this guy doesn’t know you. People start fights for less. He’s not reading your mind, to know you are thinking like sun tzu, and would therefor not attack from a position of weakness like the seat in front. People get stabbed on busses and trains for minor insults. Don’t you think he could have just been cautious?
So let’s get this right. People get attacked on busses for minor things. You think this guy is worried I might have beat him, and you think that too, because that’s what’s happened on public transport.
Well it sounds like I did this guy a favour, the next guy might have stabbed him. Everyone that gets on the bus with him wins because they don’t get pissed off and he wins because no one kills him for being a dickhead.
If him being scared prevents all this then I guess you are right. I did him a favour.
Look cunt you obviously seem to know it’s not right if you acting like that so why you being a knobhead? Just because no one will call you out?
I’m sorry I can’t read minds thinking about the situation at a different time period. But again, that’s an awfully good skill you have.
Omg you are actually talking about video games now. You’re too much.
Where I live we don’t have a hand gesture for that. I am curious what it entails?
You sure about that?
Have you considered that he just forgot? People can not be fully attentive sometimes. He basically said thanks for reminding me and sorry about that. That’s ok in my book
If you forget to be considerate, you are, in fact, being inconsiderate and people have a right to be annoyed by it.
I’d say inconsiderate is more like ignoring a request to be considerate. Accidental inconsideration is normal and happens to everyon, especially neurodivergent people.
Considerate literally comes from considering (aka thinking of other people when making decisions), if you forget to take other people into account when making decisions, you’re being inconsiderate.
It’s not complicated.
He forgor
Take this sodium all the way back to Reddit.
You don’t even know what he said. You have no evidence they were rude or threatening in their request.
Albeit you sound snowflake enough if someone asked you full stop to ‘please turn it down’ that you’d act a victim even on basic communication. You’d probably inject a bunch of narrative shit into the story to even play how you’re a victim.
I used to judge people for going about their daily lives with headphones on (like shopping) as being antisocial. In the last few years, I’ve come to realize they were just quicker to realize how annoying our society is and I’m increasingly likely to join them.
Recently I went to a mall and visited all the department stores. One of them had a guy playing a piano live and my first thought was “how quaint”. Then, as I sat and waited for my wife to try things on it struck me that I wasn’t hearing horrible music played over speakers - the piano was really nice. Why can’t places go back to playing relaxing music like that (even recorded)?
Drag shops with phonics in. Drag has autism and doesn’t need to hear 50 people’s conversations and bad pop music just to have a migraine when drag gets home. Drag does not think the grocery store is a place for social interaction anyway.
I’m definitely in agreement now, it just took me a bit longer to get over the shift in social norms.
IMO, there’s two main factors at play. First, the speakers in most stores suck. They have to buy them at volume (quantity, not loudness), and install them everywhere. The primary reason they have them is for paging, so they can make announcements and request that people go places. Music just gives the speakers something to do while not doing announcements.
Due to the amount of speakers they buy, and their primary purpose being for announcements, they don’t exactly buy high quality speakers. If the store has existed for a long time (maybe 10+ years), then it’s likely they’re analog, so the quality is also affected by the amps they’re using, and the cables, etc.
As long as the system can still do paging/announcements without issue, the business really doesn’t have any reason to spend money on upgrading it.
For the most part, most companies have connected these to some kind of satellite radio or music streaming system (like Spotify, but more business centric). It’s just plugged into the ancient sound amps for the analog system, often by someone who isn’t an audio expert, so levels are often all over the place, sometimes to loud and blown out, other times too quiet and details in the music are too quiet to be heard.
As long as the speakers still perform the announcements/paging that the company requires, they don’t care if the music sounds bad.
There’s a lot more to say on it for contributing factors, but the main drivers for it are not to play music. With the shift to digital and everything needing to update their music providing device, coupled with untrained people doing the connections for the new music solution to an ancient speaker system, it’s unsurprising that it sounds like garbage.
Great points on the horrible quality of sound in these places. I was referring more to the selection of music, but playing it at low quality certainly makes it worse. My kids joke that the grocery store is where old pop songs go to die.
Well, if the comparison is between a live instrument and the terrible speakers in the building, unless that instrument is not tuned, damaged, or otherwise not working correctly, the instrument will sound significantly better than anything else you could possibly subject your ears to.
The music selection is largely corporate/business picking something that’s very safe to play, so it’s usually very boring music.
Theres a restaurant I go to which plays music that youd expect from a fallout game. The old folks like it cause nostalgia but a couple other folks on the younger end have said something along the lines of “I heard this in Fallout New Vegas” its great, also apparently Big Iron played once and a bunch of old bastards and younger guys sung along to it. I wish I was there for it.
I completely agree.
But.
I fucking hate how I can’t read about anything any more. Especially instructional things.
It’s getting to the point that if there’s something I want to learn about or research, I have to watch a video. And of course, I probably didn’t bring headphones, because I wasn’t planning on listening to or watching anything.
I need headphones regularly for learning languages (Duolingo), learning coding, learning about physics etc So there are always Bluetooth headphones in my small bag.
There’s no life without them
this is what closed captioning is for, ya know and the other thing
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Most yt channels have captions and transcripts. If you really are that desperate to learn how to install a French drain while on the bus, just grab the transcript and whack it into chatgpt to get an article version.
This is not really true in my experience. The vast majority of instructional videos and video essays are just repackaging a text resource, often just the list of references from Wikipedia. I think you’re just falling for the veneer of professionalism that makes YouTubers popular, but remember it doesn’t actually mean they know what they’re talking about any more than a random forum poster. There are of course exceptions, but the glut of instructional videos is just because they’re profitable, not because they’re actually full of unique knowledge.
Mute with subtitles is fine
This is the way.
[Music] [Applause]
Then there is this guy that has his headphones so loud that I can hear what he listens to from 5 rows away
I was on an airplane one time when someone was doing that. The flight attendant heard it and said something like, “Oh no, that’s not okay,” then figured out who it was and had them turn it down. No one even asked - she just did it. Excellent.
Free trip to hearing damage town if they aren’t already
I swear to god, please please please do not blast your fucking music, even if it is rad like ratm, on the walking trail. No one likes it and it makes you look like an asshole and I have to glare at you instead of giving you a friendly wave.
I see a few cyclists doing that these days on the bike trails. Some of these absurd $10K+ bicycles even have speakers built into them. I guess it’s slightly less obnoxious since a bicycle will pass a walker or runner very quickly, but it’s still dickhead behavior. Even worse than music, though, is people who blast fucking preachers.
Blasting preachers is a special sort of asshole behavior I never encountered or considered before. I bet they think they are saving souls.
The dude definitely had the smug look of the saved walking amongst the damned. I don’t think he cared about saving souls at all, just doing his version of virtue signalling.
It takes me a while to see how enraged I get with it. I always have to wonder if I can take a punch from that person.
I once joked, “hey that’s pretty loud isn’t it?” And instead of them taking the hint, they were startled and were like, what’s going on? and I instead I just go, “excuse me, could you turn that down?” now. Direct approach is better.
how does it go?
typically they listen and just stay on their phone afterwards
it always gets my blood pressure high after the rest of the ride though :/ and I keep replaying what I said
By “Stay on their phone” you mean keep doing as they were (ignoring your request) right?
I don’t know why everyone here is so grumpy about other people enjoying their phones but if you are grumpy about it, I think politely asking someone to turn the volume down or whatever is the best way to deal with it. If it’s really so unpopular they’ll be getting always asked to turn their phones down and eventually get earbuds or subtitles or whatever.
I’d be interested if you phrased it as a question somehow, maybe it might be more fruitful. Less dramatic/tense for you. Like maybe “excuse me I was just wondering if there is a reason you are playing that so loud? It’s bothering me.” Would need to workshop the phrasing to be less dickish than that. But maybe you’d get some kind of interaction you’d learn about other perspectives. There must be a reason right? Like idk I only ever play things out loud by mistake when Bluetooth or the AUX fails and I find it humiliating for anyone to know what dumb podcasts I have on. Sometimes I take the earbuds out and hold them away from my head to make sure nobody can hear even by accident the stupid shit I am listening to. I would love to know more about how people are just doing everything with no worries in public. Maybe they have a useful philosophical contribution I hadn’t thought of. Or maybe they can explain to you why you shouldn’t be bothered.
How about this: “Hi, I was just wondering how you find it when other people are playing things really loud on their phones?”
Honestly, it’s a bit passive aggressive but that would probably be more likely to make them turn it off immediately as they might not want to engage in a conversation like that. However every so often someone might take you up on the conversation and you could share a few minutes together as humans.
Oh no they listened, haven’t met anyone that didn’t.
I don’t think they typically want to have a convo? But I can’t say.
lol, I also stay away from asking people that look like they’ll cause me trouble. I could try being extra polite, but I have a very “I-can-whoop-this-kid”-kinda face, lol.
If you have enough money to afford a modern cellphone, you can pay $20 for crappy bluetooth headphones like the rest of us. It’s very interesting that it’s never an otherwise very respectful and thoughtful individual whose playing their music loudly in a public space, there’s always one or two other markers letting you know they’re just always an asshole.
Man, my brother is the worst for this. Has multiple pairs of headphones, usually at least one on his person, and STILL will blast his Instagram reel on speaker as if everyone around him wants to hear his doomscrolling and brainrot memes
Literally my school bus, there’s like 50 students inside at any given time, more than half of them blast tiktoks, shorts, reels or other bullshit, the rest are either yelling and acting macho, or really wanna gtfo of that bus.
Well thanks for the inside intel, because I briefly would consider it when I saw the local busses’ “Now hiring drivers!” stickers but then imagined this is what would make it pretty much hell every day. :D
It’s my understanding that around here, the pay is low because you don’t work full-time, but a lot of the people do it are doing it because they can still get health insurance through it.
I’d say if you want to be thanked a lot per day, being a driver is for you, although I’d rather drive the public buses than the monstrosity of a school bus
As I understand it, people mostly change their mind (and thus behavior) for two reasons.
The first is in-group beliefs. If someone sees other people in their in-group believing a thing or behaving in a way, they’re more likely to adopt that. Possibly the people who play audio in public, their friends and peers are the same way. But if you also might be in one of their groups, like a college kid to another college kid, or a junior professional to another, talking to them might make a difference. But if you’re like a 59 year rich old white guy, telling a 16 year old non-white poorer kid is unlikely to land, because they probably see you as outgroup.
The other thing that changes minds is horrible trauma. Like, if you smashed their head into the bus window, took their phone and transferred all their money (via venmo or whatever), then tossed the phone out the window, they might change their mind about being a public irritant. Maybe. They might also take some other lesson instead. But either way you’d go to jail for several crimes, so probably don’t do that.
