The real question to ask is, does it contain any chemicals?
I only eat ham that is 100% composed of virtual particles.
Well, it’s in large part dihydrogen monoxide. But it’s less DHMO than the low sodium variant. So you’ve got to decide, do you want sodium chloride or dihydrogen monoxide?
I heard too much dihydrogen monoxide can kill you. Gimme the sodium chloride.
Tachyonic ham is stored in the pork futures warehouse two streets over, ma’am.
mmm pork futures. Think it’d make good bacon?
Only time will tell
Used to be I could get my neutrino chorizo at the corner store. Simpler times
The crazy thing is, most ham that’s perfectly shaped isn’t using any kind of meat glue or enzyme (it’s basically only used on expensive cuts of meat), but just pressed together in that shape and naturally re-adheres during cooking.
“So essentially all boneless hams – which are restructured products that consist of meat pieces bound together – don’t include meat glue, but rather salt-soluble protein as a binding agent that is extracted from the meat surface during a process called massaging, or tumbling.”
She tumbled on my meat surface until she extracted my salt-soluble protein binding agent.
Zaddy vibes
“naturally”
“Is that ham processed? If it’s processed, I don’t want it.”
Customer only buys live hogs.
Customer does not buy anything due to the checkout process.
I read possessed and was quite confused
“So you want deviled ham, ma’am?”
Reminds of Far Side - by Gary Larson -
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At least it’s unprocessed.
“Sold. Four marks.”
I don’t care what anyone says, bologna tastes delicious.
Edit: I looked it up and bologna is not as much of an unholy amalgamation as I thought. Still tastes delicious.
Hotdog pancake
For when hot dogs are too gay
What about olive loaf?
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I mean … Yes please, olive loaf. Regardless of my desire to consume it, though, I’d like to know whether it’s unholy like bologna apparently is not.
Have you tried frying it in a pan? Fucking delicious tbh.
Can we not gaslight and invalidate people for asking for less cancer inducing food?
When people say ‘processed’ or ‘chemicals’ colloquially, they mean excessive nitrates and nitrites which are carcinogenic. But you already know that. You’re just being pedantic so you could kiss the ass of big ham.
It’s astounding how effective the marketing was to shrug off regulatory concerns on nitrates and nitrites into an overreaction by ‘ma’ams’ and other grocery shopping women. Just take any valid concern and pin it onto an already ridiculed demographic and voila, you’ve made it popular with the internet.
I mean, folks here might not know that. I didn’t realize that’s what was meant. Of course, someone selling ham should probably be aware of this being one possible meaning…
If that’s what they mean, that’s what they can say. You can’t get mad at people for misunderstanding when you don’t say what you mean.
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Pigs are pretty much proof of god. There’s no way nature could create such a ludicrously delicious animal. Every fucking part of it is just gorgeous.
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Nah, they are proof of selective breeding, like all the “natural” food we eat
That, and we’ve evolved to really enjoy foods high in sugar/fat/carbs/protein/etc.
If it has shit loads of energy, we love it, because that’s what got us to survive.
Uhm, the modern, tasty pig was literally made by humans. The original version counts as venison and is more of an acquired taste.
Ok, if we take some of the older parts of the bible literally, god is in you, then indeed god has made the pig.
We are truly blessed
Humanity are gods confirmed
Really shitty ones, but yeah.
TIL in english pork cuts and pork sausage are both called ham
