Meme transcription:
Panel 1 of 3: A cute dog looks asks, “pls fix problem??”
Panel 2 of 3: The dog has become upset and says, “No Info!!”
Panel 3 of 3: The dog looks very angry and says “only fix”
My first tech job was with a place that did net security mostly marketed to fast food places. Some of the evening shift calls had me questioning reality since most of the people I talked to where fry cooks first, shift managers second, and by default of seniority the tech for a site as needed.
Countless ‘the computer won’t turn on’ calls which ended up being them pushing the power on the monitor.
The one that called up just to listen to our hold music until I answered, which was actually pretty good, sort of an industrial/techno thing.
CS: The system just crashed, can I turn it back on? Me: Sure go ahead and let me know if there are any errors. CS: Hold on I can’t see the button, the power is still out…
CS: Our internet is being really flakey. Me: What lights are on at the gateway? CS: It’s hard to tell, it’s underneeth the pop machine, by the way the pop won’t stop spraying, how do I fix that?
And the one who got so frustrated with trying to fix things they hucked the firewall/gateway into the deepfryer and asked for a RMA.
I heard a story and saw a photo of a literally frozen router (as in, partially submerged in ice) before. Didn’t expect a literally (deep)fried one too.
Works with some values but not with others.
So which values work and which don’t?
That’s when you install Google Ultron and call it a day
Looking up this meme was worth it
Having worked as a phone monkey and letter monkey previously, this is painfully accurate. The first skill you have to learn is effective questioning, as you only get a certain number of question attempts and the number is different per user.
Works both ways.
- Raise bug with as much info as possible following template
- Did you try reboot, clear cache?
- You did? Ok, duplicate
- Never fixed.
“Sir please restart your computer and do sfc /scannow please”
“I already said that I’ve restarted the computer and I’m not using Windows.”
“Okay sir please open Windows Update”
“???”
Makes me glad that I don’t need to look at user reports.
“This bug happened”
“Ok, can you tell us the things you did to make it happen?”
“You’re the developers, figure it out”
Must be nice working at a place where that ticket doesn’t just get dropped into the dev backlog as-is.
Unfortunately, sometimes they can’t determine reproduction steps because it’s rare to happen and required multiple things, or they just didn’t catch it. I definitely don’t blame them, at least not in a lot of cases.
And sometimes logs or crash dump or whatever is all you need to figure out the bug anyway. In fact, ideally it should be more often than not.
That’s true. I work in QA, so I’m all too familiar with the experience of “wait, wtf just happened”. I don’t fault users in that situation. My problem is when it’s “I crash every time on this level”, without any explanation
This person supports.
I had a WFM role that involved me listening in on recordings and live calls to techs for a few years… Hell of an insight.
My end user reports are as efficiently descriptive as possible. Every time I have to submit something or contact, I aim to have their experience as pleasant as possible. I aim to be a 5-10 min break for them and am more than happy to talk shit with them as long as they want to delay their next interaction with Kevin or Karen.
I do the same thing, and it pays off. Afew months ago, my Dell computer was being really laggy. I had a maintenance contract, and when I called them, I gave them a detailed description of the behavior and a list of exactly what I had tried before calling (it was extensive and exhaustive). I could hear the gears in the support repository head grind to a half momentarily and then restart in another mode altogether, and she jumped right to advanced troubleshooting. It was a great moment for both of us,.
‘Link to public issue tracker’
Report there.
Took me ages on info to figure out Mortal Kombat 1 crashes on startup because Denuvo
I remember playing mortal Kombat 1 on the super Nintendo, how the fucking fuck did they put denuvo on a 4 mb cartridge?!
I mean it was easy when they took the blood out.
You’re confused by the mega drive / genesis version. The super Nintendo version was censored and didn’t have any blood.
No no no no no, I understand I was just making a joke. You see the other posters said that it was amazing that they were able to fit to Denuvo into a Super Nintendo cartridge
Then I responded, that it was easy to fit it in once they removed all the blood, directly referencing the fact of the Super Nintendo version had sweat instead of blood
Oh… oh! Now I get it! That’s actually a great joke! 🤣
Me every fucking day with our testers.
What, they sent you a screenshot, isn’t that good enough?
Also, submit
dailyhourly progress reports providing a detailed accounting of the steps you are taking to work on this. But please, no more than half a sentence, bc I won’t be reading them anyway.90% of blocked bugs
human: developer ball: bug (report) dog: (reporting) userannotations are “spoken/thought/done” by the human.
That’s not how you use this image macro.
Yes, its not the “common” way to use it. But i think it works well enough, but just to be save i added some annotations.
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Similarly, I had a bug report that said “I went to lunch and when I came back it crashed”. For some reason though my manager wouldn’t pay me to go out to lunch to reproduce the issue.
Me: Contacts tech support while providing detailed information about the issue and what I’ve already tried.
Support: Tells me to try what I’ve already tried without fully reading my ticket.
I hate this, especially when you wait several days for reply.
I understand them. Someone saying they took the troubleshooting steps doesn’t mean they took them.
Also not everyone is on the same technical level. “I pressed the button on the screen. I thought that means the modem is off!”
My recent gem was essentially a reply of “I couldn’t find anything on Google about it” and a “resolved” flag.
You see the problem on my machine, understand it’s significantly affecting the organization, and know who the software vendor is.
Fucking call them.
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