while (true) { print(money) }isn’t that just crypto mining?
JavaScript will actually open the print dialog.
Three years ago, yes. Now? not so much.
i mine monero while idle and it prints a massive 0.03GBP a day :)
And how much does it cost you in electricity?
free (solar)
Serious question, wouldn’t it be cheaper to buy it?
Yes
given i have solar panels, it’s technically free money.
This is basically what the bank are doing when you get a loan.
When you get a $25k loan from a bank the banker does not take money from somewhere to put it in your bank account. The banker basically just add a +25k in your bank account that comes from nowhere.
Isn’t that supposed to be “Write it on a paper”?
Well, they could be talking about a computer science paper. Otherwise, it should be “Write it on paper” (no a).
Nobody thought in doing
Increasing the CPU optimization by 0.02% does seem crazy to me. If you’re going to spend time working on something, make it worthwhile. Also, isn’t while(true) {print(money)} Microsoft, Apple and Amazon:s business model?
I mean if the CPU that’s running these instructions is super low power then 0.02 might be worth it
Or if you’re scaling a large cluster of CPUs for parallel computations where a 0.02% increase can make a tangible difference in runtimes.
Only if you’d removed and fixed all other bottlenecks that would gain you more than 0.02%. And I’m not convinced there are many if any projects of any reasonable size where that has been the case.
Can someone explain this joke to me
“I’m writing a recursive method with threads to optimize the CPU usage in a 0.02%”
I understand everything apart from the “in a 0.02%”. What does that mean? How can something be in a percentage?
It’s a double joke. For programmers, it’s pretty useless unless your in high performance computing.
If you’re on the nitty gritty OS or CPU itself, 0.02% optimization can mean significant improvememt of different things but because it is otherwise unitless, it is equally useless to the reader.
“In a .02%” is nonsensical. They meant “by”. So it’s just a fail, not a joke.
I think they meant « by ».
It’s a nonsensical statement to us programmers too.
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Cat is a fluffy animal, not for reading shit
Cat is a fluffy animal, and for shreading shit
Writing ‘echo’ cannot do anything. Everyone knows echo works with sound only.
To make things worse, that teapot doesn’t have a bottom surface.
The floor is its bottom
To make it worse still, if there’s only one of them then there are zero of them.
Explain for the whoosh minded among us?
In programming things are 0 indexed, meaning one of something is 0, two of something is 1, etc.
I see you met my boss.
Not actually the case, but I am frustrated with them right now for not understanding the value of preventative work and R&D (I’m a Data Scientist).
not real like birds
Great idea mate
watch shark tank for future presidents
This could be so much longer.
Killing children, class systems, so many programming language names, the ridiculous ways equality and order-of-operations are done sometimes. Plenty of recursion jokes to be made. Big O notation. Any other ideas?
GOTO
GOTO is the only thing that makes sense. It’s the “high-level” concepts like for-loops, functions and list comprehension that ruined programming.
series.append(series[k-1]+series[k-2]) for k in range(2,5)]
RAVINGS DREAMT UP BY THE UTTERLY DERANGED
I started coding with TurboBasic, which included the helpful innovation of GOTO {label} instead of GOTO {line number}, which allowed you to have marginally-better-looking code like:
GOTO bob
…
bob:
{do some useless shit}
returnwhich meant you essentially had actual, normal methods and you didn’t have to put line numbers in front of everything. The problem was that labels (like variables) could be as long as you wanted them to be, but the compiler only looked at the first two letters. Great fun debugging that sort of nonsense.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT ONLY LOOKS AT THE FIRST TWO LETTERS WHAT
if goto make sense why don’t you go to get some bitches
Because “get some bitches” is an invalid instruction
Big Orgasm notation
A monad is just a monoid in the category of endofunctors.
The only reason I enjoy C++ is because I can cast destroy on children and it’s parents if they’re present in the world
Masters and slaves
Cloning
Deploying code (that’s what you do with soldiers!!!1)
Using Git to rewrite history.
Atomic values (like the bomb!)
These people are madmen.
One of the slave node’s child process failed, so the master node sent a signal to terminate the child and restart the slave
There’s pretty solid reason my research group is pushing to use “head node and executor nodes” nomenclature rather than the old-school “master node and slave nodes” nomenclature, haha
Floating point operations with decimals not always adding up
They always must add up - if they added down then they wouldn’t be floating points now would they!
Math professorss be like:
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Depending on what your coworker actually intended to do, you might want to let them know that printers have features built in to make their output traceable, specifically intended for catching counterfeiters.
That’s one of these things that sounds like a crazy conspiracy theory the first time you hear about it, but it’s true
Edit: haven’t actually clicked the link. I mean the yellow dots which the printer makes which is directly traceable to your printer: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Machine_Identification_Code
Basically all printer manufacturers entered a secret contract with governments.
Crypto, eh?
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Man, this must just be a right of passage for working as a SWE or MLE at this point. I’ve heard this pitch from coworkers/managers more than once.
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So, uhh… what did the print(money) part look like? Asking for a friend.
I always wonder what the original post was. Something like “Stop doing science!” or some shit but seriously rather than sarcastically.
Funnily enough, helical apple slicers can easily produce the shape depicted in the bottom quote, making it a not unreasonable request.
Ah ha! Thanks, I thought this spawned on some conspiracy facebook group
