(not actually the original title, for anyone wondering)
People are shocked when things have the audacity to happen to them instead of some NPC
I would be pissed if I went to monkey attack beach and their was no god damn monkey attacks.
I came all the way here to attack some monkeys, but it turned out I misunderstood the beache’s name.
“This is false advertising, dammit!”
“Paid for monkey attacks, barely got monkey harassment. One-star, would not recommend.”
This is just the plot to every Jurassic Park sequel.
Wouldn’t it be more like King Kong? When Monkey Attacks! Imagine a whole fleet of King’s Kongs. That would be monkey attack beach, monkey attack cliff, monkey attack pond. When 🐵 monkey’s attack you’ll see some shit fly.
You’re gonna have to get past the monkeys for this to work.
Jurassic Park attendee: “We’re going to participate in spitting in the face of God, evolution and ethics by recreating, genetically manipulating and trapping giant carnivorous monstrosities without any consequences”
consequences
Attendee: “Well, this is some bullshit.”
“Hey! I thought you said you spared no expense!”
“Yeah… on the food an human accomodations. The dinosaur pens and security systems were all built by the lowest bidder.”
All the Unity simps told me this is victim blaming though
Truly shocking
I read an article about the actual incident. Essentially they’re a super wealthy influencer family that travel around and shit, those kinds of people who think they own the world since they colonized half of it.
They went to monkey beach with their kids and set up on an area that pissed off the monkeys, and the dad got bitten.
I think people just watch movies like Aladdin or whatever and think monkeys are cute and harmless. They’re wrong. Monkeys are vicious little monsters. Stay the f away from monkeys.
Source: I was sort of lightly attacked by a monkey and I wasn’t even at a monkey attack beach
Monkeys are vicious little monsters.
And the most vicious of them, are the hairless ones
Um ackshually, they’re apes
pushes lensless glass back up nose
You don’t have to tell me, I saw that video of a monkey casually scalping a dude in a single swipe.
Average Australian tourists
Average
Australiantourists
More “fucked around and found out” than “leopard ate my face”, but funny.
Hear me out, “Monkey attack beach : The game”. Like an old school side scroller, fighting an horde of monkeys that gets bigger ever level.
You go to the monkey attack beach for vacation.
I go to the monkey attack beach to fight monkeys.
We are not the same.
sigma male music
