Over the years, I’ve seen many folk talking about their relationship with femininity and how it relates to their transition and to their sense of identity, of who they are.
I’ve never understood it though. I don’t feel like I have a relationship with femininity, or at least, nothing beyond pragmatic necessity. It doesn’t relate to my sense of identity or who I am. In many ways, it feels like an obligation, rather than a source of empowerment or self understanding.
So, I’m curious how it works for other folk who find empowerment in it. What does it mean to you? How did it help you find yourself? How do you relate to femininity now vs earlier in your life?
Edit - To add some context. I’m 7 years transitioned, and “post transition” for want of a better term. I’m quite comfortable with my own relationship (or lack of it) with femininity. This is more an exercise in trying to understand different perspectives :)
Listen I transitioned because I hated not having tits and because having a penis felt wrong.
I’ve found myself getting more feminine as I get older though. I rejected it a lot when I was younger (been transitioning as long as you actually and am also post transition). I still have my firm feminist stances like I won’t ever wear makeup to work, but I wear it going out now, just not because I feel I have to but because I do like the self expression with it. I’ve found that I feel most myself when I embrace being a large badass femme. And it’s when I feel most confident. And I think part of why I feel this way is because I’ve always rejected letting it be forced on me and because I’ve always found femininity to be beautiful and powerful looking. I also think that starting transition at 20 and being heavily involved in lesbian communities influenced it. My conversation with femininity in myself has always been spoken through my lesbian identity just as much as my trans identity.
