• HugucinogensEnglish
    7•8 months ago

    Well shit.

    I knew I was somewhere under the trans umbrella. I knew something on me was queer. But this whole thread, and your post specifically, is just digging me deeper and deeper.

    Thanks, and slightly goddamnit.

    • @A_Very_Big_Fan@lemmy.worldEnglish
      5•8 months ago

      Thanks, and slightly goddamnit.

      Haha, I feel this. When I finally figured myself out it wasn’t like “yay, I’m trans!” it was like “oh shit. I am trans…”

      I guess I figured it’d be easier and come more naturally, the way I perceived trans people before. I’m learning that it can actually be a lot of work, especially if you’re like me who never developed a sense of fashion, isn’t motivated to train my voice, too scared to get on hormones… I’m still working on a lot of things and it’s been a few years.

      I’m also thinking I’m more-so non-binary than full-on transfem. There’s a lot of aspects about myself that are traditionally labeled masculine and I don’t want to get rid of those aspects. Took me a while to sort that out and come to terms with it.

      Whatever your story is and whatever’s ahead of you, good luck to you :3

      • HugucinogensEnglish
        3•8 months ago

        I started quoting parts of your comment to answer to, and then I noticed I had basically added all of it so >.<

        Yeah, all of that is basically how I feel, maybe except being excited about filling in the gap in my missing fashion sense, and the voice training itself. As soon as I get out of where I live right now.

        Being amab, honestly, having masc euphoria still confuses the fuck out of me. It kept me thinking “I couldn’t be trans” for so long.

        But recently, I’ve started perceiving enby-ness as the option that it is, and it’s liberating.

        And there’s something funny about not realising sooner, and staying locked into thinking binary cis-trans are my only choices.

        I mean, my whole life, when I see some stranger on the street and I can’t tell their gender on the first glance, I’ve been instantly attracted to them.

        Also, 2 out of my 3 relationships were with (closeted) non-binary people. How did I not get the hint 😅

        It goes to show, I think, how these things are all emotional realisations, so they happen at their own time, when we get the right experiences. I still feel like my default sense of self is powerlessness, and that really informs how possible, I feel, acting on my options is.

        But I try to remind myself that those options are there. Life is not built on predetermined tracks.

        Whatever your story is and whatever’s ahead of you, good luck to you :3

        Same to you ^^ Hope you have fun on your journey as well :D