It doesn’t just have to be “oh I’m a man/woman/enby.” What qualities do you have or want to obtain as your gender? How do you express yourself? What does your gender feel like?
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The way I describe my gender is, that if I’m standing in a room of men, my feeling is “not one of them”.
My feeling when standing in a room of women is “they’re like me”
I struggled when people perceived that grouping the other way around.
My presentation was initially basically doing what I needed to do to get people to perceive my gender correctly. Pragmatic. I’ve never otherwise had a meaningful sense of connection between expression and gender. It could be best described as “pragmatically feminine leaning towards androgynous”.
If the world removed the groupings, and it became just a room full of people instead of a room full of people with gender, then I’d be quite happy for my gender to be as unimportant as my eye colour or hair colour. An interesting fact about me, but not a default grouping category people use for me.
I also struggled with serious physical dysphoria, but these days, I see that as distinct from my gender. Even in the hypothetical world I was talking about, with gender relevance being downplayed, I’d still have had to navigate that dysphoria
