It doesn’t just have to be “oh I’m a man/woman/enby.” What qualities do you have or want to obtain as your gender? How do you express yourself? What does your gender feel like?
I’m still figuring out what kind of man I am and want to be. One thing is being strong for other people. Being able to provide for and support others is important to me. Then being strong for myself, being able to take things and roll with the punches. Obviously, anybody of any gender can embody those, but to me being able to do that will indicate that I’m growing from a boy into a man. Not quite there yet.
I find myself falling into machismo sometimes. It’s not the type of man I want to be. I’ll do stupid shit or try to fit stereotypes to prove my masculinity or some stupid shit. Part of being young and unsure of myself, I guess. Deep down, I’m a very sensitive, romantic, and whimsical person, but I’ve buried that for many years because no men around me show those traits. I hope when I move to yankeeland I’ll find some better male role models and more freedom to express myself without compromising my masculinity.