Latest hits: if gender is performative that means it’s fake and patriarchy doesn’t exist! I don’t know who Judith Butler is!
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I guess you need a therapist who is trans to help you work through that issue. Imagine living your life not trusting others on the basis of their gender identity. Couldn’t be me.
My therapist is a white cis heterosexual man, and I would trust him to walk through fire for his trans neighbors.