It’s like using “just” in emails. Guys don’t do it, but women are seen as bitchy or bossy if they don’t.
“I’m just checking in about the progress on [x]”
Versus
“I’m checking in about the progress on [x].”
The latter feels much more direct. Women will tend to use the former while men will tend to use the latter. Because for guys it conveys authority; I’m checking in on this, you should have an update. While for women they need to downplay their authority; I’m looking for an update, but don’t mind me. Because if women stop using “just” they’re suddenly seen as demanding, bossy, too authoritative, etc…
I’m a man and I still use “just” because even if a man doesn’t use it I see them as aggressive and dickish. I feel it’s just more polite to use it.
