My 8 year old does this. Most of the time it’s during movies I’ve already watched so I could answer her questions. But fuck man, just watch the movie and it will answer your questions. We spend more time talking about what’s happening than watching/listening 🤦
Maybe she just wants to talk to you. For her, the movie experience is spending time with you.
We usually do end up talking for most of the movie. I guess I kind of do like doing that with her. I absolutely love your comment. Thank you for changing my perspective.
How the fuck would I know?
I’m pretty sure I married your friend.
I perhaps did it too 😳
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Devils advocate here, because this sounds like my wife and I. She gets really annoyed at me, but she doesn’t understand that I don’t expect her to answer my questions. I just need to let them out of my head so I can concentrate on the rest of the movie. What she could do is either just ignore me, or agree that it’s a valid question and let it go. On some occasions, I may ask a question because I feel I may have missed something that she might have caught, but usually the questions are more rhetorical in nature…
I don’t think the reasons are really important, there’s no “devil’s advocate” to play here. If it’s annoying then it’s annoying, it takes someone out of the experience, even if you didn’t intend it that way. That doesn’t really get changed by understanding the mechanics behind it.
I’m just offering another perspective, that’s all… Feel free to ignore me like my wife learned to do.
The additional perspective was interesting, I was just talking about the “devil’s advocate” part. One uses that expression if you want to actually argue for something. But there’s no arguing to be done, you can’t argue someone out of being annoyed. If you had just shared the explanation I wouldn’t have said anything, just appreciated it :)
If you are in a relationship and that is your dynamic and you are happy with it, you do you. As long as you aren’t annoying other people.
My husband likes to ask questions during movies and shows. I had to talk with him on boundaries.
I don’t like to talk in movie theaters. People paid good money to enjoy the experience, including us. Screams, gasps, etc are fine. Reading subtitles to vision impaired people is fine. Dissecting what has happened to whom is not. We are there specifically to have questions posed and then answered by the movie itself, not by people in the audience. We can tear apart the flaws on the way home.
At home, it’s different, we can usually pause it, and I don’t mind as much discussing in real time. Unless it is clear it is about to be answered if you just watch for another minute. Then the answer is “just wait” and boom, story happens.
Same here with my girlfriend, except we both do it, even though I might a bit more sometimes.
It sounds like you should explain that to your wife.
I have… we’re good. 33 years good.
Gratz!
Every time I see this skull mask character I laugh, he just looks so stupid!
Who even is he?
I think he’s from a COD game, but i’m not entirely sure.
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according to tumblr, he is peak babygirl
I’ve never seen anyone doing that, who the hell are you people friends with?
So… do you all just sit there and watch movies in complete silence?
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If you’re going to a theater, of course! I’m talking about watching movies at home though
Same rules apply, the social contract stands unless specifically talked about beforehand.
Jesus Christ lmao
If you go to the theater
Pic doesn’t specify a theater
Yes? How can you watch a film if everyone is talking?
Because you’re not actually there for the movie but to spend time with the other person. Theaters are different but then again, there’s a reason it’s a shit way to hangout or go on a date
I just wouldn’t put a film on personally if I wanted to socialise with the other person.
It’s more like an “excuse” to hang out and gives something to do together. But each to their own
Literally yes. Minus stuff like laughter, or mild gasps or other reactionary noises.
I used to but I’ve realized it’s much more fun with occasional comments as long as you can keep it low key.
right? why watch a movie together to begin with if you’re gonna be antisocial
You can be social without constantly hearing yourself talk.
In this case, how? It’s not exactly social if both just sit silently looking at a screen
Sure it is, you’re sharing an experience. It’s exactly the same as going to a theater but the screen is smaller and snacks are cheaper.
Great social experience of sitting on a couch watching TV in complete silence lol
So we can share quiet, non-intrustive reactions and absolutely gush about the movie at the end. The hangout doesn’t end just because the movie’s over. Do you try to talk to the person next to you about the rollercoaster you’re having fun on?
You have some long ass rollercoasters, ours usually go on for barely five minutes
Why sit next to someone not watching the movie while they watch the movie and actively interrupt them watching the movie?
why watch a movie together if you’re gonna be antisocial?
To share the emotional experiences, and then talk about the story afterwards.
Or you can talk during the film and have this conversation later:
“What was that dude so angry about?”
“I don’t know. We were talking about the previous scene during that scene.”
“That movie sucked. It was confusing and I just couldn’t get into it.”
When in theatre, yes, its considerate. When watching stuff with my gf we usually commentate as it goes on
Yes! If it’s a re-watch then fine, talk all you want. On first watch though, shut. The fuck. Up.
I can imagine the steamy nextflix and chill session already
Ideally, yes. Discussion is for immediately after.
My wife does this all the time. I make her pause and then we chat a bit. Works well
If I do this I’m not expecting you to know the answer, I just want to discuss our thoughts. What’s wrong with that?
😤🫸 Doing that before or during the movie
😏👉 Doing that after the movie
Makes for a bit of a boring hangout if you both just sit silently there through the movie. At that point might as well watch it separately and then get together to discuss it.
Cinema being different of course, you’re not supposed to talk there to begin with
Different strokes for different folks I guess. If you like talking during the movie that’s fine, just don’t do it with other people that prefer quiet.
I haven’t had anyone invite me over to sit in complete silence yet but I wouldn’t imagine those people want people to come over anyway.
The problem solves itself hah
Yeah everyone in this thread probably being too literal, myself included lol.
Like, I’m not gonna get mad if someone makes a quick comment or quip during a movie. I’m not asking people to sit there in silence with absolutely no interaction while the movie plays. I’m just asking people to not try and start and maintain a conversation while the movie is playing, which I think is reasonable.
What’s wrong with that?
Because it’s insanely inconsiderate and extremely egotistical. You aren’t the only person in the world. We’re both watching the movie and we’re both equally as confused. When you ask those questions what you’re doing is interrupting the movie for someone else to demand an explanation for yourself. An explanation you will not get as, again, both of us are confused. Other people are watching the movie too. Interrupting it to try and get answers for yourself is some narcissistic behavior, especially when you’re in a movie theater with shitloads of other people around you.
Moreover, during the middle of the movie is not the place to have a discussion. People are trying to watch it and enjoy it, not listen to some breakdown about the events so far. If you want to have those discussions then keep it for after the movie when attention can be properly given to the discussion, not a half whispered response in a tone of “Dude, can you shut up?”
An explanation you will not get as, again, both of us are confused.
Did you read my comment? I said I don’t expect you to know the answer, I just want to hear your thoughts. If you don’t want to talk during movies then watch them alone.
And did you read mine? There was more to it than that single line.
Because it’s insanely inconsiderate and extremely egotistical. You aren’t the only person in the world. We’re both watching the movie and we’re both equally as confused.
I don’t expect you to be less confused, I don’t expect you to know the answer
When you ask those questions what you’re doing is interrupting the movie for someone else to demand an explanation for yourself.
Of course I wouldn’t talk during a dialogue, only during non-dialogue scenes
An explanation you will not get as, again, both of us are confused.
Again, I don’t expect you to know the answer
Other people are watching the movie too. Interrupting it to try and get answers for yourself is some narcissistic behavior, especially when you’re in a movie theater with shitloads of other people around you.
Lmao do you think I would be screaming that question throughout the entire theatre?
If you want to have those discussions then keep it for after the movie
It’s not about a discussion it’s about speculation. There’s no point in speculation when the movie is over, all answers are given unless if there’s a second movie coming.
Of course I wouldn’t talk during a dialogue, only during non-dialogue scenes
Ah right, of course, because exposition only happens in scenes with dialog. The non-dialog scenes are just there purely for looks.
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Christ, why is everyone being so antagonistic to a guy for enjoying movies a different way than other people
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I don’t expect you to be less confused, I don’t expect you to know the answer
Then the discussion is not relevant in the moment and can be saved until after the movie when you are not actively disrupting the movie for other people.
Of course I wouldn’t talk during a dialogue, only during non-dialogue scenes
What you find personally enjoyable is not universal. While you may focus heavily on dialogue, other people do not. Moreover, things that are in non-dialogue scenes can be just as important, if not VITALLY important, to the movie as dialogue itself. By your logic, every other part of the movie that does not include dialogue is irrelevant to the movie and doesn’t require attention.
Again, I don’t expect you to know the answer
Then the discussion is not relevant in the moment and can be saved until after the movie when you are not actively disrupting the movie for other people.
Lmao do you think I would be screaming that question throughout the entire theatre?
People are sitting around you on all sides. Unless there is no one near you, then you are going to disrupt the movie for them. There is a reason the trope exists of people saying “SHHH!” to other people talking quietly in movies. It’s because they have ears and can hear you.
It’s not about a discussion it’s about speculation. There’s no point in speculation when the movie is over, all answers are given unless if there’s a second movie coming.
Speculation requires you to talk to the other person and for them to talk back to you. You know. Like a discussion. If you’re not expecting a response at all then it just circles back to the point of egotistical and narcissistic by assuming that everyone around you thinks that your idle musings about a movie are more entertaining than the movie itself.
This entire conversation is pointless and I’m not continuing it any further. What you’re advocating for is some nastygirl behavior that is utterly inconsiderate of everyone else. Let me reflect that energy right back by no longer considering anything you say.
Because it’s insanely inconsiderate and extremely egotistical.
I can imagine coming over to a friend’s place or to a date and just sitting there in absolute silence watching a movie instead of you know, hanging out and talking stuff
Your friend is probably more interesting in hanging out with you than strictly watching a movie lol
Because movies are dumbed down to the point that anything you can come up with in realtime will be answered eventually, or is a plothole.
Not to say it’s objectively wrong, but if it’s someone like me that you’re watching a movie with, I generally expect quiet. A comment here and there is probably fine in the right context, but constantly breaking into conversation mid-movie is a distraction I don’t really appreciate. Generally, I think it’s important to understand the expectations of everyone involved.
yeah sure if they ask me to be quiet I’ll be quiet but then I don’t see the point anymore of watching the movie together
and yes generally it’s just a few comments but some people can’t even stand that lol
Some people just enjoy being around friends, even if they’re not actively engaging each other.
You’re interrupting the movie and making people miss out. If all agree ahead of time to do a MST3K kinda thing, sure. As a compromise: pause the movie first.
My sister is ADHD so she legit has real questions that I can totally help with despite having seen the same stuff so far. But of course she has no idea which stuff is intentionally vague and which stuff she hasn’t been able to connect that was intended to be solved so far. So if it’s an intentionally vague moment my answer is “we don’t know yet”.
I definitely get that it can be annoying if you have no idea why they are asking. But they wouldn’t have learned that behaviour if it didn’t occasionally matter. Since this behaviour is common, and ADHD is common, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s always the case. But it’s probably only some people with ADHD, depending on how theirs presented. And of course some people may have this trait of ADHD without enough of the rest of the traits to be able to get diagnosed.
But yeah, it’s one of the traits of ADHD that makes them feel like they must not be smart, despite any evidence to the contrary. Cuz they just don’t “get” what are obvious clues to other people. But it’s simple topic linking, basically their brains see everything in it’s own bubble, and they can be very good at figuring out everything in that one bubble, but if a puzzle in that bubble needs a part from a different bubble, that puzzle is never gonna be solved for them without outside help to find the bubble that has the needed part.
I’m sorry none of that has anything to do with ADHD. If anything ADHD is great for helping make connections from disparate sources as, for better or for worse, 15 things pass through your brain every second. And as someone with ADHD, trying to talk to me during a movie is incredibly annoying, because I’m either hyperfocused on the movie or working very hard to focus on it. If I’m not focused on it, I probably don’t care about it very much, so I’m not going to be asking questions to try to keep up.
All of this sounds like your sister has made “ask questions” part of her “try very hard to focus” routine but that is her quirk, not an ADHD trait. I can only imagine nobody has annoyed her in this way so hasn’t thought about it.
Oh, no. She is definitely great at making connections otherwise. It’s just one of her executive dysfunction symptoms. Like I said, not all people with ADHD get that one. She 100% hates having to ask questions and break immersion. But she also has a huge fear of being wrong, and it bothers her to a larger degree when she thinks she has missed how two things might be related.
She is almost 40 now, so she has had plenty time to at least get a decent sense of when a movie should be making more sense than it is. But there are still times where it is just as much as we are supposed to know by now.
I don’t, as far as I know, have ADHD. I did not notice foreshadowing and such until I took an elective in college that broke all that stuff down for cinema.
Now that I know, I notice it. It’s like hearing the Wilheim scream. Once you know what it sounds like, you hear it pop up a lot. A Lot. I never noticed it at all before.
Same thing with Hero’s Journey in storytelling.
Once you learn to recognize these things, you can’t not notice them. Sometimes it ruins things a little, sometimes it makes them better.
If you want to know how to read the clues, watch some youtubes on how to spot everything. People love making videos about it.
Or, just continue to enjoy the ride, but stop asking for it to be explained. If you want the explanation either learn the clues or just read a spoiler summary beforehand. Don’t risk ruining it for someone, who overhears your conversation by accident, when they just wanted to enjoy seeing the story unfold moment by moment.
That’s a completely different thing…
I google the plot of the movie and ruin the ending in my answers to those questions. Now they’re a lot more careful with asking questions.
You are about one lab accident away from becoming a supervillain aren’t you? But not the normal kind, the kind that people sorta see their pov.
I’ll have to check the villain registry to see if Spoiler Alert is already taken
Watch the movie then
“Why is-”
“I don’t know, it’s almost like the movie is intentionally setting up questions to be answered later when the plot calls for it!”
Could be that they think they missed something
Like from yapping? Shut up and watch the movie.
No just sometimes people don’t catch everything or don’t figure things out as quickly as others
That’s what rewatching is for
Jesus
