• Presi300English
    2•4 months ago

    I wanna take a shot of something else every time I have to do anything with databases…

  • @apprehenticeA
    44•4 months ago

    They should have a rocks glass with a query on it

    SELECT * FROM liquor_cabinet WHERE proof >= 120

  • Venia SilenteEnglish
    8•4 months ago

    Bartender, I’ll have a shot of that. And please clear my TABLE, I’d rather have a nice VIEW.

  • @afk_strats@lemmy.worldEnglish
    7•4 months ago

    That’ll make you forget about the analyst who left didn’t add a WHERE clause in their “test” UPDATE statement

    • @imsodin@infosec.pub
      3•4 months ago

      Could you do your best dunk on ES for me please? Not as in factually great, just whatever. I (ab)use quite a bit in my work, and can’t say I have particularly strong opinions/feelings around it either way - I could use some help to change that xD

      • @HogsTooth@lemmy.world
        2•4 months ago

        My most recent complaint is about index mappings. I have 2 types in 2 different indexes that each have a field with the same name. One index has a hand written mapping. The other index is currently under active development and doesn’t have a mapping for it yet so it’s built automatically. When I insert into the index WITHOUT a mapping, the index WITH a mapping changes the field into a keyword and no further queries against the index WITH a mapping work. This also happens if I insert into the index WITHOUT a mapping before the other index is created. Why does the index WITH a mapping change?!? WE WROTE THE MAPPING FOR A REASON BUT ITS IGNORED!?!

  • BappityEnglish
    17•4 months ago

    bartender! one TRUNCATE for me please! I don’t want to remember this night

  • kingthrillgore
    37•4 months ago

    The DBA at my old job used to keep a revolver with one bullet, and a bottle of evan williams in his cabinet. There would come many a time when he reaches for the drawer and opens it, seeing both. He always opted for the whiskey, but having seen some of our PRs, there were definitely times he lingered on the revolver.

    This is a joke, btw. When’s the last time you’ve seen a dedicated DBA lol

    • @xmunk@sh.itjust.works
      3•4 months ago

      Gosh I hope you took some creative liberties with that story… a coworker having a loaded gun at the office would be creepy as fuck - even if it was just in support of a joke.

  • @ulkesh@beehaw.orgEnglish
    4•4 months ago

    Seriously though, MySQL is garbage and its replication is even worse. It is by design that you’re not supposed to rely on it. It’s apparently a feature that the replication gets out of sync. Why have it then?

    I can’t wait until I no longer have to deal with databases. The time is coming!