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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 14th, 2023

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  • I know I said “unionize” in another comment, but I’ve realized that might not be immediately helpful, so some other advice: if you’re in a place where it’s legal to record with one party’s consent, secretly record the whole thing. If not, I still advise recording, but you’ll have to say you’re recording and get everyone’s consent. Ask for everything in writing whether or not they allow that. Expect to be fired. Expect to need a lawyer. Get a lawyer. Expect that the lawsuit will take time and you won’t get much of anything but you might be lucky enough to hurt them in the process. Resign yourself to the fact that without unionization or governmental change, we’re absolutely and totally fucked if we’re disabled, neurodivergent, or even just different. Then do whatever you have to in order to survive knowing that.





  • Trillium is my personal choice for self-hosted notes. I haven’t really had issues with using it on mobile, but I also just tend to put the stuff I think of when I’m out and about into a single note that I periodically go through and reorganize. It’s been good to me so far, and it has all of the features I really need. If I need something fancier (or public-facing), I toss it in BookStack instead. Then again, I don’t use either of them for business (mostly for tabletop RPG stuff and instructions to friends/family about using the other stuff I self-host), so if that’s your application, I have no clue how it holds up.


  • It’s pretty similar to most other roleplay in an RPG in my experience: you remember that you’re all playing characters and you respect out-of-character boundaries (including fade to black for anything too explicit or indulgent). I’ve been worried about crossing boundaries before but I don’t think I’ve ever actually crossed a line over the course of quite a few campaigns, even with the couple of times I’ve had to fade to black. You just have to know your players and be explicit about boundaries; I’ve had players request that no romance be present in a game before and I’ve accommodated that as well as players who’ve explicitly stated that they want to play flirtatious characters (though not in the same game, obviously).

    And of course just be cognizant of how much detail you’re going into; you don’t want to be describing the details of a makeout scene, but “Jessica presses in for a long kiss” does the job and doesn’t violate most people’s boundaries in my experiences as long as they’re okay with the general themes.

    Never really had it go “weird”, and honestly, though I’ve ended up in an IRL relationship with a player in one of my games on two separate occasions, the in-game romance doesn’t seem to be related (neither of the people I ended up dating stood out in that regard).