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Joined 2 months ago
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Cake day: February 3rd, 2025

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  • I can assure you that you can still access the used market with these limitations since you can arrange to meet others at a public place nowhere near your home. A lot of the groups and sales are on Facebook though, so that’s a huge bummer.

    But you could also check your local vaping meetups, flea markets, or pawn shops, as well as classifieds websites such as Kijiji or Craigslist (those are the 2 most well-known where I live, your local area may use other websites). You should be able to entirely avoid shipping if vaping is common where you live.



  • gonzo-rand19to196@lemmy.blahaj.zoneRule
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    9511 days ago

    The earliest he could possibly have been born is 1976. Not exactly able to go clubbing during 1980-1989.

    “I’m in my 40s and wasn’t old enough to experience the 1980s gay social scene, but I feel confident in saying trans people weren’t there!”

    What a loser.




  • I immediately get uncomfortable and defensive and try to explain / find excuses for why I did this thing.

    Stop doing that. When you notice you are doing it, stop. Say “I’m sorry,” and try to come up with solutions instead of excuses.

    Like if you forgot to empty the dishwasher, create an alarm or recurring calendar event so you don’t forget again. Don’t just say you forgot and you couldn’t help it.

    This is related to ADHD, sure, but it’s not because of ADHD. It’s because you’re making the choice to excuse yourself instead of actually listening to your partner’s concerns and trying to change your behaviour.




  • Honestly, a lot of the time ADHD can manifest as depression and anxiety and doctors are way more likely to diagnose you with those because it’s more obvious. All they have to go on is how you tell them you’re feeling and specialists are in short supply. You can’t really “feel” executive dysfunction or persistent task avoidance.

    I understand (and probably she does too) that TikToks obviously can’t diagnose a person, but neither can you and even doctors make mistakes out of ignorance. You should apologize and just listen instead of trying to help her figure things out. Women already get under-diagnosed and told they’re imagining things and “not to worry,” so just be a friend.



  • Exactly. I’ve been with my wife for nearly 9 years in a partnership where we both try to leverage our strengths, and we have a similar setup, so I wanted to go to bat for the both of us, so to speak.

    I’m sick and tired of people assuming I don’t carry my weight just because I need reminders about certain things and help with appointments. Let’s be real and admit that ADHD is a disability that prevents you from doing (some) stuff.

    I don’t just “let her clean up after me” and neither do you, it’s annoying to me that you specifically didn’t mention cleaning and they got on their high horse anyway.


  • I don’t think they even mentioned cleaning in the comment. They mentioned “long-term stuff,” “organization,” and “creating structure,” which I would think of as scheduling, shopping/task lists, birthdays/anniversaries, confirming appointments, checking in to make sure tasks are done, reminders, etc.


  • Yeah, I think the military is the only environment where your entire schedule is planned for you.

    If OP can’t hire a personal assistant then this is the only option if they want 24/7 scheduling managed by another person or group.

    Unless you want to join a farming co-op, OP? Requires money and effort on your part but no risk of being deployed overseas. Less rigid scheduling but lots of stuff to do that will dominate your time.