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0.3
Since it’s US I’m guessing it’s either 0.3 washing machine or 0.3 groundhog
Crashes.
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centimeters.
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Obviously, don’t forget to tip.
“Here’s a tip, kid: you can tear off a shirt sleeve to form a crude tourniquet!”
[grabs bag and walks away]
Did he send flowers?
Yeah, ordered another doordasher to deliver it
But then that driver was eaten by a bear :(
Should have selected the bear repellent upsell
The flowers were delivered by Doordash The victim arrived in an Uber ambulance.
The part-time doctor (student) mentioned that the hospital’s rooms are now managed by Airbnb.
250$ of tips were collected along the process, but now it’s not clear who pocketed them.
No, but the Doordasher realized that they can buy themself flowers
Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I’m open-source; check me out at GitHub.
DoorCrash
Crashdash
First chapter of Snowcrash
I tried reading this recently… only made it through a few chapters. Something about the writing style made it hard for me to see the story in my minds eye
The lead character being Hero Protagonist gives away the tongue in cheek style.
It’s worth reading for the first ideas of "the metaverse " but plotwise you don’t need to finish it.
Floordash
Roadrash
feels very slapdash
The Deliverator belongs to an elite order…
Bold of them to assume the door-dasher can afford hospital
Welp, better put them out of their misery
Is this real?
Yeah you can pay a little extra to get them cremated
I read that early on there was a bug and you could get them cremated without them being in an accident.
Ah yes, the orbital laser bug
Thanks for nearly waking my parents up with loud laughter
Next time don’t masturbate in their bed.
Why are they laughing in your parent’s house?! That seems a little concerning.
Eww no I already tipped them 20%
Nah. That account posts a lot of “app features” like this as a joke.
thank you. i really should have picked that up by the “send flowers” upsell. can you imagine? in a unlikely set of circumstances, the additional option to have said flowers delivered could trigger a rather unfortunate infinite loop.
I once got food delivered to a work site and it took like 15 minutes of go the last mile. Slowly walking all the way up the entrance drive to this place (it was a museum on the waterfront with like 1/2 mile of driveway before the parking lot) turns or he blew a tire and decided to walk it the last mile because he was almost there.
I felt so bad. He should’ve just looked after himself… I’m guessing the app would’ve punished him with a suspension or something if he failed to deliver though. Wanted to tip more after all that, but there was no option to posthumously raise the tip in app and I wasn’t carrying cash.
Guess that’s what happens when your boss is a robot.
Posthumously…so he died? Rip loyal delivery driver
The food kinda died
The request ended, may it rest in peace
He should’ve just looked after himself… I’m guessing the app would’ve punished him
Unfortunately, that is a possibility. I used to doordash, canceling an order before you pick up the food is NBD, but canceling after you have picked it up is likely at least a strike against the dashers account.
“Packaging was damaged and there were several blood stains on it. Driver didn’t even say ‘Hi’, just laid there. Rude and unacceptable! 1/5 *”
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Door dash: “Sorry about your negative experience, here’s a $1.27 refund on your $46.77 order. Also, don’t forget to send flowers to your dasher’s hospital room!”
